Beautiful snow-capped mountains and purple sunset skies became the norm for four days in Bishop. My relationship with outdoor bouldering is still a conflicting one. The fear that comes with possibly dying from a foot slip three meters above the ground is immense. Still, I can feel myself growing more comfortable with every trip. I was excited to be out in nature again and to see friends psyched to work on more classic problems.

Climbing outdoors made me realise just how powerful it is to get used to something. Stepping onto a tiny rock once felt terrifying. But after five tries, I managed to hop onto it a little and realised I wasn’t going to fall. After five more, I could put my full weight on it without needing support from my other limbs. Five more, and it felt like standing on solid ground. Everything in life comes with some risk, and instead of running from it, it makes a lot more sense to take active steps to reduce it. Honing a skill and getting better at things you never imagined yourself doing was such a fulfilling feeling. That said, I did do Buttermilk Stem with a stack of three crash pads. For those unfamiliar with outdoor climbing, the more pads you stack for this climb, the easier it gets. You’re supposed to be able to do it with just one, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. As much as I want to improve, I don’t want to lose sight celebrating the little checkpoints along the way.

Sophie, River, Butter, Mavis, and Cookie were just a few of the dogs we met over the past few days. The sunsets from the Milks were stunning. Even when it was cold and windy, it was nice to hide under a rock and cheer on a friend trying Bowling Pin. Eating a packed pasta meal at the crag, sampling new potato chip flavours wherever we went, long car rides, and good conversations made me realise there is so much more to climbing than just going up a rock.

Bishop was the last of three climbing trips I embarked on during my three months in California. Now that I’m back in Singapore, I’ve returned to climbing indoors, and I’m not complaining. I can see myself improving in terms of grades, but more importantly, problems feel less intimidating. I’m more excited to try things I’m not good at (essentially anything that isn’t a jug) rather than immediately telling myself there’s no way I could do it. If I learned to trust smearing on outdoor surfaces two meters above the ground, I can definitely stand on that volume above an extensively padded gym floor.

Ending off with a quote from the man who climbed El Capitan with no harness or rope.

“I've done a lot of thinking about fear. For me the crucial question is not how to climb without fear-that's impossible- but how to deal with it when it creeps into your nerve endings.”
― Alex Honnold

Till next time California! 

Oh yes, and I now know how to plug a punctured tire.